A Nerd’s Relationship Advice
Cody: Last time you were here, we did relationship stuff. Now we’re doing more relationship stuff. Have you been talking to my wife? What’s going on?
Ryan: You know Cody, I think you and I need to work on our relationship. I see you up late at night now, posting videos on the net and I’m like, “Come on, we just need to deepen our love for each other.”
Cody: Okay, I’m ready. Notepad. I’m taking notes all right?
Ryan: All right. So first up, this is an app called Couple. And this is really cool because imagine if you wanted to see a timeline of your relationship. Right now, you’d have to go to Facebook and kind of weed through the pictures sushi restaurants and stuff like that. So this is a personal, private network just for you and your loved one and here you can have private conversations where you text back and forth, share photos. But you can also have a shared calendar, a shared task list and you guys can create little sketches together. So this is like an interactive sketch.
No, wait Marion here’s the good one, check this out. This is called a phone kiss. So you press the screen and the other person will bring their thumb up there and the screen will vibrate and turn red. It’s even got a little thumb kiss. Isn’t it though? And then so there’s all kinds of cool things you can do on this app to kind of manage your relationship. But see in my family, I’m the sentimental one, so I’ve got this big box of like any letter we’ve ever written, I toss in there. My wife doesn’t care.
Cody: Yeah, mine neither. Maybe you and I are more suitable for each other than our wives.
Ryan: So this one is called Icebreak and this is for couples. This is kind of interesting with Icebreak imagine if you go home to your wife right now, you’re probably going to ask her the same questions you ask her every night like, “How was your day?” and, “What did the kids do?” and la la la. Well this kind of creates better communication. When you first start dating someone, you want to know all kinds of stuff about them, you know, “Where did you grow up?” and, “Tell me about your childhood.” Things like that.
But this gives you little icebreaker questions that you can ask to kind of dive deeper into your relationship. Things you wouldn’t normally ask. This is great for couples on a date night so you can just ask, “What’s our song?” and you just kind of develop that or, “Is loving you tiring?” I thought that was really funny that that’s on there. But you can also have another private conversation so you can see all your stuff that’s going on and share things back and forth. So Icebreak, it’s really great for creating intimate conversations.
Cody: So when you have the first date together without the kids in a long time and you just look at each other and blink after like five minutes.
Ryan: My wife and I, we always talk about work and it’s like ugh it just feels like more work. So this one is called Fix a Fight. This is if you guys start getting in a fight, this was developed by some relationship therapists and this is kind of cool because what you do is when you first start it out it asks you, “How are you feeling?” and you can rate your intensity level. And then you hand the device to your partner and they do the same thing. And then it kind of walks you through fixing it, they call it fixing a flat tire. You kind of fix your relationship and it just kind of walks you through the process because a lot of times when you’re angry it’s really hard to get into that space where you can solve it, you’d rather just beat the be-jeezus out of somebody. So this just kind of keeps it a little calmer and keeps it in order.
Cody: Okay, we’re running out of time. We’ll do this one real quick.
Ryan: The last one, this is the best one. This is called The Breakup Shop. So everything’s over but you want to break up with them but you don’t want to call them or text them or email them yourself, this place will do it for you. For anywhere from $.99 to $29. They’ll send an email or a text directly to your soon-to-be-ex to break up with them and the cool part is… this is the creepy part actually, not the cool part, is there’s a leader board. There’s a leader board, so you can see how often people are breaking up with different people, what methods they’re using to break up with them. And you can say, “Well, I broke up with six people this week.”
Cody: Oh man. Good to see you my friend. Thank you very much. That is the end of the universe.
Ryan: The Breakup Shop.
Cody: The Breakup Shop. It’s all over with.
Most people reading this will probably think to themselves, “What do Nerds know about relationships?” The answer is: more than we should. Nerds are known to do their research and not dive into anything serious without having an action plan. Unfortunately, things do not always go as planned. Luckily, the Nerds from Nerds on Call have compiled a list of several apps and websites to smooth out the bumpy patches in a relationship. These modern solutions offer relationship advice for all stages of intimacy, and can even help you out if you are ready to move on.
Couple is an app that was designed to enhance communication between couples. Essentially, Couple is a private social media site built for two that includes: real time text messages with sent and read notifications, the ability to sketch drawings and send them to your significant other, and an option to share “thumbprint” kisses for the extra “awwwwww” factor. Although this app does not offer relationship advice, it can create timelines so that you do not forget important dates, store memories, and even Facetime your significant other to see each other when you are apart. By tracking your important dates and offering a constant form of communication, Couple eliminates the need for relationship advice by keeping a strong connection regardless of scheduling or distance.
Icebreak for Couples
For $1.99, Icebreak for Couples is an app that encourages meaningful conversation. This app suggests topics to get to know more about your partner than just, “how was your day?” The included questions are positive and encouraging, and often times ask you to say something you enjoy or admire about your partner. You can choose between sharing your posts publicly or keeping them private. If you choose to post them publicly you only need to enter certain information such as gender, state, and age range, nothing too personal. Icebreak for Couples allows you to see how other users have answered questions, and it also includes a “relationship wall” feature to privately share messages, sketches, and photos with your partner. Getting to know your partner in the deepest possible manner is a great piece of relationship advice that this app can teach in just a few minutes a day.
Fix A Fight
For $4.99, this app does exactly as the title suggests. Fix A Fight helps walk couples through resolving quarrels and making up after a fight. As you are guided by a real marriage counselor, you and your partner are offered talking points and activities that are aimed at identifying feelings and finding the core issues. The app then guides you through working to fix the core issue with simple advice. Fix A Fight compares relationships to cars, and a fight is like a flat tire. When a car gets a flat, you do not get rid of the car, you simply fix the problem with some patches and get rolling again. In the long term, every car will inevitably get a flat tire, and all you can do is be sure that you have the tools to fix it. With some of the simplest yet most effective relationship advice, this app is a great buy for couples who want to last forever and be able to find a happy medium.
The BreakUp Shop
The day has finally arrived, you can break up with your significant other without having to do any of the work. The BreakUp Shop will break up with your significant other for you. Now, this may not be great relationship advice, but it can help you save some emotional trauma on your end. It may sound cruel, but this website will send a text message, email, letter, or have site curators call or send a video to break up. The websites suggests that an app will be coming out this Spring, but in the meantime you can order breakups on the website linked here and in the beginning of this paragraph.Texts start at a price of $10, while phone calls can run you up to $30. The website also has a somewhat creepy leader board that lets you track how you “rank” among other serial breakup artists. Sometimes, the best relationship advice is just to get out while you can before things get too ugly, which is just what this website is perfect for.