A Nerd’s Relationship Advice

Video Transcript

Cody: Last time you were here, we did relationship stuff. Now we’re doing more relationship stuff. Have you been talking to my wife? What’s going on?

Ryan: You know Cody, I think you and I need to work on our relationship. I see you up late at night now, posting videos on the net and I’m like, “Come on, we just need to deepen our love for each other.”

Cody: Okay, I’m ready. Notepad. I’m taking notes all right?

Ryan: All right. So first up, this is an app called Couple. And this is really cool because imagine if you wanted to see a timeline of your relationship. Right now, you’d have to go to Facebook and kind of weed through the pictures sushi restaurants and stuff like that. So this is a personal, private network just for you and your loved one and here you can have private conversations where you text back and forth, share photos. But you can also have a shared calendar, a shared task list and you guys can create little sketches together. So this is like an interactive sketch.

No, wait Marion here’s the good one, check this out. This is called a phone kiss. So you press the screen and the other person will bring their thumb up there and the screen will vibrate and turn red. It’s even got a little thumb kiss. Isn’t it though? And then so there’s all kinds of cool things you can do on this app to kind of manage your relationship. But see in my family, I’m the sentimental one, so I’ve got this big box of like any letter we’ve ever written, I toss in there. My wife doesn’t care.

Cody: Yeah, mine neither. Maybe you and I are more suitable for each other than our wives.

Ryan: So this one is called Icebreak and this is for couples. This is kind of interesting with Icebreak imagine if you go home to your wife right now, you’re probably going to ask her the same questions you ask her every night like, “How was your day?” and, “What did the kids do?” and la la la. Well this kind of creates better communication. When you first start dating someone, you want to know all kinds of stuff about them, you know, “Where did you grow up?” and, “Tell me about your childhood.” Things like that.

But this gives you little icebreaker questions that you can ask to kind of dive deeper into your relationship. Things you wouldn’t normally ask. This is great for couples on a date night so you can just ask, “What’s our song?” and you just kind of develop that or, “Is loving you tiring?” I thought that was really funny that that’s on there. But you can also have another private conversation so you can see all your stuff that’s going on and share things back and forth. So Icebreak, it’s really great for creating intimate conversations.

Cody: So when you have the first date together without the kids in a long time and you just look at each other and blink after like five minutes.

Ryan: My wife and I, we always talk about work and it’s like ugh it just feels like more work. So this one is called Fix a Fight. This is if you guys start getting in a fight, this was developed by some relationship therapists and this is kind of cool because what you do is when you first start it out it asks you, “How are you feeling?” and you can rate your intensity level. And then you hand the device to your partner and they do the same thing. And then it kind of walks you through fixing it, they call it fixing a flat tire. You kind of fix your relationship and it just kind of walks you through the process because a lot of times when you’re angry it’s really hard to get into that space where you can solve it, you’d rather just beat the be-jeezus out of somebody. So this just kind of keeps it a little calmer and keeps it in order.

Cody: Okay, we’re running out of time. We’ll do this one real quick.

Ryan: The last one, this is the best one. This is called The Breakup Shop. So everything’s over but you want to break up with them but you don’t want to call them or text them or email them yourself, this place will do it for you. For anywhere from $.99 to $29. They’ll send an email or a text directly to your soon-to-be-ex to break up with them and the cool part is… this is the creepy part actually, not the cool part, is there’s a leader board. There’s a leader board, so you can see how often people are breaking up with different people, what methods they’re using to break up with them. And you can say, “Well, I broke up with six people this week.”

Cody: Oh man. Good to see you my friend. Thank you very much. That is the end of the universe.

Ryan: The Breakup Shop.

Cody: The Breakup Shop. It’s all over with.